The Push/Pull of being a woman in business in 2020

Oprah once said “You can have it all. Just not all at once.”

Over the last few years I have had the pleasure of running “Build Your Personal Brand” sessions for women in tech in Israel, the US, and South Africa. One of the most significant themes which runs repeatedly, at all these locations, is the need to be more, do more, and achieve more.

Now, you may say this is not just common to women but men too. And you’d be right.

But they apply in different ways.

I see so many women working their butts off to be so many things at the same time.

And nothing less than perfection will do! A great career woman, a great leader, a great employee, a great partner, a great girlfriend, a great wife, a great mom, a great friend and a woman that takes time to look after herself, nurture herself, and grow as a person.

Do we really need to be all those things… all at once?

The list is endless, and the pressure is enormous. We are literally exhausting ourselves with feeling we are not enough. And we need to multiply ourselves and be where we’re not.

It makes us not be in the present moment and giving our full attention to what’s right in front of us, right now.

I had a client recently say that when her kids are talking to her as she’s fixing something in the house, she’s thinking about work and not listening. She feels enormously bad. And she doesn’t get the work done quicker. We’re almost addicted to multi-tasking, thinking we can just squeeze in one more thing to feel like we’re getting somewhere!

Accept that sometimes you’re going to be out of balance. Have you ever met anyone who is ever in this mysterious, perfect place of balance?

We need to quiet the chatter in our heads and accept that there is a time and place for everything. Maybe it’s not our time to be the best friend, maybe it’s our work or our husband that needs our focus. Sometimes we need to make a conscious choice rather than trying to spread ourselves so thin that no-one is getting the power of our undiluted selves.

Least of all ourselves.

I believe we need to take a breath and enjoy where we are. It’s enough. We’re enough.

Breathe. Choose. Enjoy :)